Last Saturday morning, Stephanie Hankey and I were woken at 3:45 by Ronnie, our guide who had materialized from thin air, knocking gently on our doors at the Hotel Niagra. He advised us that he'd be down at the car waiting, and when we staggered out of the Niagra's perpetual din of CNN and florescent lighting, he loaded our bags, let us into the back seat of the three-row minivan, and set off for the ferry dock. The ferry would take us across Lake Victoria to Ssese Island where Africa Source II, at Kalangala, awaited us.

The first part of the ride was fairly smooth; we bounced over mostly-paved roads leading out of Kampala and crossed the equator as I dozed and Stephanie chatted with Ronnie in the front. After several hours, we stopped to stretch our legs, and Ronnie advised me to move up to the second row; it's better company, he observed, and besides, I wouldn't be sleeping much over the next stretch of road.
Indeed, Ronnie (in all things) knew what he was talking about. We turned off the main bouncy road onto the ferry road. This, I assumed, was a relatively short track that would take us to the ferry dock. As it turned out, it was a relatively long track that took us to the ferry dock, and was exponentially bouncier than the first road. Stephanie and I strapped ourselves in and held on as Ronnie expertly navigated the rutted dirt road, avoiding holes of axle-breaking depth by using the whole width of track freed from the forests on either side. Watching Ronnie take on this road was incredible. He threw his whole frame into wrenching the minivan across boulders and out of potholes that threatened to tip us; he managed to carry on a charming conversation while driving expertly on the balancing point of a ditch's lip. And, thanks to his speed and care, we arrived at the ferry an hour early – no minor point for travelers aiming to catch the first of the day's three 10-car ferries, where first-come first-serve is not always the rule: cars behind us paid the captain for a prime spot up front. This turned out to be a wise move on their part, as the final vehicle on the ferry – a group transport with several dozen people clinging to the top and sides – was balanced precariously on the tipped-up loading ramp of the ferry barge as we pulled away from the dock. Obviously, litigation is not an issue the government of Uganda spends a lot of time worrying about.
The hour-long ferry ride provided Ronnie (and us) with napping time. Ronnie tipped his hat over his eyes, wished us a good rest, and promptly fell asleep for the duration of the trip. Once the ferry docked, we were off again, this time over an even rougher road and moving, it seemed, faster; Ronnie saw the gathering storm on the horizon, and wanted to get us over the rural track to Kalangala before the full force of the deluge hit. We spent much of the next hour airborne, a necessity given the depth of the holes in the road.
By the time we arrived at the camp, I was starting to fully appreciate why a professional driver is required to cross much of Africa – and why driving in Africa is not at all "unskilled labor".. Literally, had I been driving the road between the ferry dock and Kalangala, it would have taken at least four times as long – had we arrived at all. Ronnie managed to guide the diesel minivan with speed, precision, and relative safety over nearly impossible terrain, and arrived smiling (but tired).
Transport in Africa is a crippling problem; despite the enormous amounts of development aid poured into the continent since the 1960's, the continent's infrastructure is still nearly non-existent in many places. Major cities I've seen in Africa (Accra, Kampala, Windhoek, Jo-burg, and Capetown) tend to have mostly paved main roads at least in their commercial centers: the road between Entebbe airport, where we landed, and the outskirts of Kampala, where we slept, was quite decent. But as soon as we left this artery, things went rapidly downhill. Similarly, Ghana's capital Accra has decent roads (albeit bordered by open sewers) around the commercial center and heading out to the airport, but turn to rutted dirt and mud the moment one turns off into more residential areas.
Given this, it's easy to see why people like Ronnie (who is actually a tour guide and environmental expert, not a driver by trade) are so important, and so in demand: his combination of calm, derring-do, good cheer, and lightening-fast decision-making are perfect for getting a van full of clueless people from A to B. The tragedy, of course, is that were Uganda's road's better, Ronnie might be better rewarded by putting those skills to use in building his businesses in tourism and environmental work, instead of shuttling people like me around the country because we can't do it ourselves.
PS: The title refers to "O Captain! My Captain!", a poem by Walt Whitman. It opens:
O Captain my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weathered every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring...
The poem goes on to describe the death of a ship's captain at the end of a long and terrible journal, which fortunately is not part of my Ugandan narrative.